A Psychologist's Journey to Life

Within this blog I am my own DIY Psychologist - my own Psychological Experiment. Walk with me as I take the 'Psycho' out of 'Logical' & show how we are able to Practically & Commonsensically Walk ourselves out of our illusory Mind & into Physical Reality - here I share the Process of taking Self-Responsibility for each Thought/Word/Deed & thus through Self-Directive Writing transform each 'Mental Disorder' into a Living Solution that is Best for All Life.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Day 24: Seeing through the Illusion is NOT ENOUGH

Day 24: Seeing through the Illusion is NOT ENOUGH

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, even after seeing through the illusory nature of backchat, still continue to allow myself to miss myself as breath here to be duped and hoodwinked by my thoughts/feelings/emotions, and to follow them as if they lead to anywhere of significance, even when I have seen that it is not true, and that following thoughts ALWAYS and in ALL WAYS leads to the same place: self-deception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to intellectualize my understanding and insights into the illusory nature of thoughts as backchat – within this I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that ‘seeing through the illusion of my mind’ is NOT ENOUGH, but that I must direct myself to practically STOP all participation in my mind every single time the temptation arises – until here no further - and to NOT ONLY STOP this in myself, but STOP all consequence that this participation has created in this world from continuing to play out and wreak havoc – so as to transform myself and this world into what is best for all life – equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lift the veil and then simply stand immobilized, not moving myself practically in each moment to ensure the veil is lifted for all beings and that the entire veil that this existence is under is lifted forevermore.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize the uselessness in seeing that I am not my mind and then not doing everything in my power to stop the abuse that the mind has manifested here.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that when I participate in my thoughts/backchat/internal-conversations, I am not the only one that is affected, but all of life as this entire existence is affected, because – all the moments that I spend in my mind when I could be here in physical reality working towards supporting myself and others to bring about a world where no more suffering exists, are prodigalized - and as such, all the beings that could be supported by me stopping my mind, are disregarded/ignored/snubbed so that I can instead remain in a separate bubble of self-delusion entertaining myself with THOUGHTS.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to Live here within the understanding that I will not Live forever and that my time here on this Earth is limited and precious and that I must ensure that not a single breath is wasted – within this I forgive myself that I have made my mind more precious than Life, even when I have seen clearly that my mind is the absolute source of abuse and spitefulness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear aging and to fear that I am wasting my time away in my mind, without seeing/realizing/understanding that I AM WASTING MY TIME AWAY when/as I participate in energetic thoughts fuelled by fears of aging – within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that age is real and thus then stand equal to the aging process for myself and all beings, wherein we have allowed ourselves to believe that the deterioration of our body over time is ‘normal’ and have simply accepted this as ‘the way it is’ instead of seeing that we have the power to stop consuming ourselves by/through participating in energy which depletes ourselves and this planet, and instead dis-cover who we are able to become if we stop our minds, stop consuming ourselves as life, and start Living for a Living.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that when I am here moving myself, breath by breath, that is what is real and important: not how old I am, or how old I am getting, or how, or when I am going to die. I instead make the self-directive decision to die now, so that I may Live here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my self-integrity and self-respect by/through continuing to participate in that which I see clearly is not real and only causes great abuse and suffering to continue to exist within this world because I am not stopping it in myself.

artwork by Scott Cook

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself by/through squandering the opportunities that arise wherein I am able to stop my mind and transcend the limitations I have created, and thus instead sabotage myself by participating in my mind, creating a timeloop wherein I will have to wait for that moment to come again before I am able to see if I will walk through it without participating in an energetic reaction, but instead take self-responsibility to stand equal and one with whatever arises without internal-movement so that I may realize myself as my creation in equality and oneness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to steal Life from myself and all of existence by/through allowing myself to participate in the energetic experiences created/generated/perpetuated by my mind – instead of giving/gifting Life to myself and all of existence with each breath that I breathe.

I commit myself to investigate all aspects and parts of my programming down to the very minute detail so that I am able to in each moment effectively remove, take out and delete that which I have accepted and allowed within the starting point of self-deception, self-abuse, self-sabotage - to thus then create myself into what is best for all, and to therefore ensure that my creation is the image and likeness of what is best for all Life.

So as I change within – I change without, both processes is a process that I have to in fact walk – that only with changing my ‘who I am’ within, and not changing my ‘who I am’ in/as my living – will not change ‘who I am’ in fact, because ‘who I am’ must become equal and one within and without to in fact be equal and one. If I am different in my who I am within and without: I am still accepting and allowing separation and deception, as what the relationship between the Mind and Physical has become, where beings are different in the Mind and in the Physical, due to accepted and allowed separation in the Mind and Physical.

And thus, the process to actual self equality and oneness, is where who I am is equal and one within and without – that can only be walked within the processes of writing, self forgiveness, self-commitment statements and self-corrective application – taking one relationship of acceptance and allowance at a time, one point at a time – because this is how we created/manifested our relationships of acceptance and allowance in the first place. ~ excerpt from Heaven's Journey to Life Blog: Accept and Allow – the Contract with Death: DAY 22

I commit myself to STOP diminishing myself by/through giving my thoughts/feelings/emotions/backchat/internal-conversations even a moment of attention.

I commit myself to be/become the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow - within, without - equal and one.

I commit myself to STOP deciding that my illusory mind is more powerful, more real, more significant, more alive than who I am as Life, here, breathing, and thus instead make the decision to be/become who I really am once and for all.

I commit myself to STOP intellectualizing my process and to START living here, wherein I realize myself HERE and STOP making my living here into a process that must be walked, but instead simply walk.

I commit myself to stand as a practical example of what it is to be free.

I commit myself to not waste a single breath, but to bring the realization that I will not Live forever here, with each breath that I breathe – as that is the gift of eternal Life made manifest here.

I commit myself to lift the veil for all of existence so that we may all live in equality and oneness.