A Psychologist's Journey to Life

Within this blog I am my own DIY Psychologist - my own Psychological Experiment. Walk with me as I take the 'Psycho' out of 'Logical' & show how we are able to Practically & Commonsensically Walk ourselves out of our illusory Mind & into Physical Reality - here I share the Process of taking Self-Responsibility for each Thought/Word/Deed & thus through Self-Directive Writing transform each 'Mental Disorder' into a Living Solution that is Best for All Life.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Day 28: From Me-In-Denial to ME-in-ALL

* this post is a continuation from yesterday's post: Day 27: The ME in Menial Tasks

artwork by Marlen Vargas Del Razo

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world system where we’ve so defined ourselves according to the tasks that we engage ourselves in, that we think/believe/perceive that the menial tasks define us as meaningless and as such, we do not want to look at and face the fact that it is the menial tasks which ensure that the big tasks are able to be carried out – as, without the menial tasks the big tasks could not be carried out effectively, or even at all.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that if the small points are not walked effectively, they turn into big difficult points – and that if the small points are walked properly, the big points become easy – and that even the most difficult points in this entire existence start out easy in the beginning, thus it is the small points walked effectively that achieve the best and greatest outcome for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world system where energy and money are the primary motivations which move us, wherein our relentless drive for power and control within our ‘roles’ completely separates us from the whole, as who we are as substance, thus rendering ourselves completely meaningless, no matter what we do, as the entirety of who we are we have accepted and allowed to be diminished into insignificant because we have denied our equality and oneness, thus denied ourselves and each other a world that is best for all as the absolute expression of who we are as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world system where, because we have defined menial tasks as meaningless, a person whose job it is to do the menial tasks will get less money and have less of a chance at a comfortable life, as they are seen as inferior, thus we have totally disregarded how meaningful their task actually is, and have instead made those who do menial tasks into outcasts that don’t deserve to be treated with dignity, nor even considered as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world system where a doctor is seen as more important/dignified than a janitor, not seeing/realizing/understanding that if the janitor did not keep the doctor’s work space clean and sterile, if the janitor didn’t dispose of the toxic chemicals/bacteria/substances that the doctor utilized, then the doctor would not be able to do his task effectively, which would create great consequence in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world system where a doctor is seen as more important/dignified than a construction worker, not seeing/realizing/understanding that if the construction worker didn’t build and maintain the facilities within which the doctor is able to perform his task, then the doctor would not be able to perform his task effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world system where a doctor is seen as more important/dignified than a factory worker, not seeing/realizing/understanding that if the factory worker didn’t produce/assemble/manufacture the tools/machines/devices that the doctor utilizes, then the doctor would not be able to do his task effectively.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the immense consequence of not considering the small and seemingly insignificant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world system where nobody cares about the small points, thus we have a world where the small point of providing ALL with food, shelter, proper water, and health care have been flouted and disregarded, and as such have turned into massive problems of gigantic proportions, where billions suffer daily, which could have certainly been solved from the beginning, before it was even a problem, within the realization that to take care of the smALL means the best for ALL.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the small picture in the big picture, as all the parts/aspects/facets that must work together to make the big happen – and within this – I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the big picture in the small picture, and to instead only consider whether a task is menial or important, based on value-judgments that I have projected out into my world only existing as a separate, isolated being who is in denial of the whole, as the interconnectedness of all things.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that when I project value-judgments onto myself/my world/reality in regards to what is menial and what is important, it is me-in-denial of the meaningfulness in the menial, thus also denying the me-in-all things – as who I am in all that I do – within this I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the me-in-all things, as placing myself in the shoes of all beings here to ensure that I am willing/able to walk in their shoes no matter the task that they carry out, and that I will be able to live a honourable life, simply for the pure fact that I am here, breathing, sharing the same planet with all beings and as such am worthy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the brainwashing that was programmed into me as a child, wherein when I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I parroted that I wanted to be a doctor, or a lawyer, or a professor – as I was told that these were important jobs that symbolize success, prestige and worthiness – not seeing/realizing/understanding that this programming was based in fear of survival, as these are the jobs which would secure me with money, and the menial tasks would keep me struggling through life as the underbelly of society, which is a parent’s greatest fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in denial of how meaningful the menial tasks of this world actually are and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed an entire world system of denial, to such an extent that even the mention of creating a system based in equality, where all are equally provided for and given the right to life no matter if the task they express themselves within is seen as big or small, creates such reaction that a person can’t even hear, can’t even fathom, can’t even consider because that would mean that all the precious significance we have placed in the tasks that we do would become irrelevant, and that creates extensive fear, because it challenges our self-interest, our evilness and the entire notion of who we think we are.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that in order to make BIG changes in myself and this world, I must walk slowly - step by step, breath by breath – taking equal and one responsibility for all that is here within the realization that it is due to me existing within/as a mind-system which I created breath by breath, that I have disregarded ALL life, and as such accepted and allowed a world-system that has also accumulated into a system of absolute abuse – thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world system where revolution and revolt is seen as the way to make a change, when all it does is make the big point bigger and totally disregard the me-in-all, as the small points of self-responsibility that I must accumulate and transform into what is best for all life - to see how the world is a reflection of ME, thus revolution and revolt are only me fighting me – me-in-denial; in denial of my responsibility as creator of this world.

I commit myself to challenge all value-judgments within myself and this world which create/generate/perpetuate separation, spitefulness, fear, survival, competition, enslavement and greed.

I commit myself to show how the big could not be carried out without the small so as to expose how we currently exist in a world-system of ignorance to the interconnectedness of all things, and as a consequence of this have accepted and allowed great suffering to manifest here, as we have not considered the entirety of the world we live in, who we are within it, nor have we regarded Life in any way.

I commit myself to create a world system which is a practical manifestation of the interconnectedness of all Life, where all Life is regarded equally as one; where we all work together in a harmonious manner to ensure the best possible Life here, wherein we’re all able to realize ourselves as our utmost potential.

I commit myself to walk me out of denial of all that is here as equality and oneness, to thus then walk me into the me-in-all, as all the parts of myself that I require to bring back to myself, one by one, so that I thus then am able to merge myself with the eternity of myself that has always been here, but I was too preoccupied with the big to see.

I commit myself to walk myself out of the relationship I have created with energy in total separation – within myself and within this world system as money – to thus then create myself and this world system into that which is an absolute expression of equality and oneness as what is best for all.

I commit myself to be patient with myself, to be absolutely deliberate with myself in each and every single breath, movement, action – to ensure that I am considering all the small points so as to equally ensure that I am not making my process more difficult within the big points that arise.

I commit myself to be humble, and to walk the small points with ease and effortlessness, because I commit myself to trust myself that I am here doing what is required to be done in each and every moment to stop being a mind-system - which will take time, and can only be walked breath by breath, as I disengage, extract, and re-define the entire way in which I have existed, down to the very way in which I breathe, so as to ensure that I am real, and not just a robot-machine.

I commit myself to walk the small properly so that the big I may walk with ease.