I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed
myself to fully consider and realize the fact that it is specific that we claim
we are unable to remember our childhood, as I see clearly that we have
specifically created an array of defense mechanism characters so that we would
not investigate further than the excuse: ‘I don’t know, I was just a baby then’
– thus within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself
to fully consider and realize that we are each the one who decides, in each
moment, what we will and will not remember, and that there is NO other point
that is in the way of us seeing directly into ourselves, and thus into this
world, and thus into existence as a whole – as it is ALL showing us in each and
every single moment: who we are…if we dare to stop hiding we may just be able
to work together to bring an end to the game so that we can stand here open,
and stop peeking out between our fingers because we are too scared to admit
that we are responsible for IT ALL! The rape, the terror, the greed, the
poverty, the cries of pain and agony are all coming from ONE MOUTH – our own!
Peek-A-Boo, I SEE YOU Lindsay.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself
to create the ‘I don’t know, I was just a baby then’ character in my
life-movie, as well as support the ‘I don’t know, I was just a baby then’
character in the movie of others – so as to ensure that we all keep each other
safe-and-sound from hearing this world screaming the truth that can be KNOWN in
any single moment, but have instead decided to drown out the screams with squeals
of laughter as we play Peek-A-Boo with each other within our screenplay where
we beLIEve we can just project anything we want to see onto the screen and keep
playing dumb without consequence – I realize that there is no such thing as ‘without
consequence’ as the consequence is RIGHT HERE manifested in my physical flesh,
manifested in the physical flesh of this Earth, manifested in the physical flesh
of this world system as money which are ALL clearly diseased and rotting at the
core – and it is not a laughing matter what I have done to myself in matter, what
I have done to this Earth as matter, the matters of this world that really,
actually matter - while I was busy playing games in my mind not even once
considering anything in regards to the matters at hand, anything beyond my own
self-interest and pursuit of happiness. Peek-A-Boo, I SEE YOU Lindsay.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed
myself to fully consider and realize that I am born into this world as a blank
slate; that I am born into this world from darkness – and thus within this I
realize that everything is in reverse, and that I must push beyond the blank
slate, as the blankness that I have created and used as a defense mechanism as
the ‘I Don’t Know’ Character, and the ‘Everything is just a Blank’ Character,
and that I must go back to the darkness, to the pit of myself where the dark
secrets reside, and pull each one out – one by one – until ACTUAL darkness, and
ACTUAL blankness is WHO I AM as the WHO I AM that was born into this world, and
the WHO I AM that I must return to in fact so that I can birth myself as Life
from the Physical. Peek-A-Boo, I SEE YOU Lindsay.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself
to, from being born into this world from darkness as a blank slate, immediately
begin creating the ‘baby character’ with I gave the role of ensuring that all
the memories-films get instantly shredded into tiny bits and pieces and automatically
suppressed down into the darkness that was originally just pure darkness, but instead
utilized this darkness to fill with secrets to never be seen, because as
creator I made sure that I created myself such that I would never find out the
truth, because I decided that I would rather play games than be real.
Peek-A-Boo, I SEE YOU Lindsay.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself
to, as the baby character, LOVE the game of Peek-A-Boo as I would squeal with
laughter as I realized my plan was
working perfectly. Oh how fun! I do not have to take responsibility for my
creation, I can just sit back and laugh, watching all the characters in my
movie playing Peek-A-Boo too, as we all play this game together, all agreeing
that we will not take responsibility but instead laugh ourselves into oblivion.
Peek-A-Boo, I SEE YOU Lindsay.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself
to take the awareness of myself as a baby and to with both internal and
external repetition, transform that awareness into denial, denying the truth as
the memories that are reeling around and around inside me creating me and this
world with each scene, with each segment, with each stage set to ensure my
eternal enslavement to fear, the fear of me ever peeking into the truth of what
I have done – so I instead made sure that the truth would seem mundane, routine
and ordinary; seeing everything in myself, my world and this reality as ‘just
the way it is and will always be’ – claiming that I do not require to question anything,
or investigate beyond what is spoon fed to me, beyond what is dictated to me
within myself and dictated to me by others – all stemming from that one excuse:
‘I didn’t know any better, I was just a baby’. Peek-A-Boo, I SEE YOU Lindsay.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself
to make war, murder, starvation, poverty, animal abuse, the raping of the Earth
and each other into a mundane, ordinary, and routine way of ‘Living’ that is ‘just
the way it is’ – not seeing that this is NOT the way it has to be, and that
this is NOT ordinary, it is INSANITY. Peek-A-Boo, I SEE YOU Lindsay.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself
to become brainwashed by the constant and continuous repetition of my name over
and over by the beings in my world who were making sure I would get it, and
would congratulate and reWARd me when I would take notice as my name was
spoken: oh look, she’s getting it! Look at Lindsay, she’s starting to recognize
her name! Oh, this is ME, this is who I am, I’m LINDSAY! And we would all get a
nice energetic rush from it, feeling as though we were getting somewhere, when
we were really only getting further and further away from HERE as we began to
label and put a name on Life through our deliberate game of ignorance, of
denial of who we really are - separating, characterizing and compartMENTALizing
everything into so many bits and pieces, parts and fragments to ensure that we
would never NAME THE GAME. Peek-A-Boo I SEE YOU Lindsay.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself
to write each letter of my name over and over and over in a tenacious determination
to succeed and be accepted as SOMEONE – not seeing/realizing/understanding that
by and through me wanting and desiring to be SOMEONE, I gave up on being
EVERYTHING HERE – and instead became just a character, stringing letters as
characters together to make up a name that I then brought to life as ME, as a
Live-Memory acting out a part in a program with my name on it – sealing the
deal that I made with myself in the beginning that I would never step out of
character. Peek-A-Boo I SEE YOU Lindsay.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself,
to be absolutely sure that I would GET IT, that I would GET THE PICTURE as the
memory picture of myself as LINDSAY – write my name in seemingly secret places
under the furniture and on the wall of the laundry room in the basement, so
that I could continuously remind myself throughout my life, like a game of
Peek-A-Boo: I AM LINDSAY, I SEE YOU - as though the writing on the wall was the
proof of my existence being reflected back to me, not daring to face the fact
that it was only EVER just a picture-show, a screen-play of mirrors reflecting
to me that I was trapped in a game, a LIE, an illusion – questioning me each
time: will you ever wake up?
Self-Corrective/Self-Commitments
Statements to follow…
For further support:
Heaven's Journey to Life -
Interview by Bernard Poolman - Changing the Character of the World
Creation’s
Journey to Life -
Day 79: Stepping out of Character with LOVED ONESEarth’s Journey to Life – Day 51: Moving through my characters
My Journey to Life -
**********************************
No comments:
Post a Comment