A Psychologist's Journey to Life

Within this blog I am my own DIY Psychologist - my own Psychological Experiment. Walk with me as I take the 'Psycho' out of 'Logical' & show how we are able to Practically & Commonsensically Walk ourselves out of our illusory Mind & into Physical Reality - here I share the Process of taking Self-Responsibility for each Thought/Word/Deed & thus through Self-Directive Writing transform each 'Mental Disorder' into a Living Solution that is Best for All Life.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Day 86: Does God Exist?

This post is a continuation from yesterday’s post – Day 85: How to Define Character Building Techniques

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in one moment, accept myself as less than the fullness and completeness of Life HERE by/through making the decision that I will instead go on a ‘Spiritual Quest’ as the Spiritual Character to ‘find myself’ through ‘finding God’: SOMEWHERE ELSE - a fascinating conundrum.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, when I was 16, in one moment think/wonder, seemingly for the ‘first time’: there must be more, there must be more than me, God must exist – thus in that moment stepping into the SAME EXACT pattern play-out that has occurred since ‘the beginning’ – a long, long, long time ago – when I separated myself from Life for the first TImE to TIE myself down, through the creation of time, to the BE-LIE-f that I must find the more of me that must be ‘out there’ somewhere, thus not accepting myself HERE, but splitting myself into an ‘out there’ – thus shattering myself into an infinite array of characters to essentially ‘help me’ in my search for God, and in that moment separating myself from my creation by/through failing to recall that each character was ME, in fact, and instead accepted and allowed each character to continue within its point of view and opinion of what God is – a brilliant design to keep me trapped and distracted from realizing myself as who I really am: HERE.

I forgive myself that I did not accept and allow myself to see/realize/understand and thus investigate the tension I experienced within me as inner-conflict as I was busy developing/building my new character, which was in conflict to my ‘old’ character, as the old character I accepted as myself was supposedly against God or anything seemingly religious – so I then in that moment suppressed the ‘old’ memories so that I could step into the new character and enhance any memories/experiences I had based on knowledge and information to use as a way to bolster my new character into the forefront within the justification/validation that I was not interested in religion or the religious view of God, but was interested in the spirituality of God, supposedly ‘beyond religion’.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to describe the moment wherein I asked myself: does God really exist? as being: struck in the heart by an angel – thus describing/justifying this experience as some special divine awakening that saved me from a life of destruction – not seeing/realizing/understanding that by/through me embarking on this Spiritual Quest, which in no way considered the actuality of this reality on Earth and the absolute suffering and destruction that was HERE, I cleverly distracted myself with good and positive feelings of God – never asking myself: why would this magnificent God create a world of absolute suffering and abuse? – but only interested in asking the question: does God really exist? to continue the good feelings I felt by/through beLIEving I was becoming connected to some great and all-powerful God – within this:

I forgive myself that I did not accept and allow myself to fully consider and see/realize/understand that if I accept myself as being ‘connected to God’ I would also be accepting myself to be connected to God’s Creation, and thus accepting God’s Creation in all of its misery as what is clearly shown here on Earth, as okay, because GOD must have ‘it all figured out’ and thus I can simply bask in my good feelings and let God take care of the rest because of deciding in that moment that I am less that God; I am inferior. I am not powerful.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, within accepting God as an all-powerful separate being from me, totally disregard and deny the absolute power I have to immediately in one single moment, have a single thought and to from that single thought create myself into a character, with new thoughts, and a new expression – and in another moment, immediately create another character, with new thoughts and a new expression – all created seamlessly – and that, in fact, I AM creating what is here breath by breath through the creation of thoughts/memories/characters which I make manifest into this PHYSICAL reality – but I don’t want to accept the responsibility of what I am creating, as it is clearly not a beautiful creation, but is quite horrific and hideous - so I thus then project this creation onto this God Character separate from me so as to not have to stand up and ensure that I create my creation into a creation that is best for all Life in equality and oneness, ensuring to take care of ALL the characters here which are just shattered pieces of the mirror of myself which I broke myself into when I posed the statement: there must exist a God.

To be continued…

I commit myself to wake up all the characters in this existence – which I alone created – one by one, as I realize that this is what must be done, so as to stop trying/attempting to evade the self-responsibility that is required to be taken to create a creation that reflects an equal and one understanding of myself as Creator of all that is HERE, in fact – which would obviously include all the characters here, which I must show that I remembered are just characters, so that we can wake up from the LIE - TOGETHER - and get real, and thus then stand TOGETHER and walk TOGETHER and breath by breath breathe a world that is worth Living into being TOGETHER, as a reflection of our understanding of ourselves as Creators.

“Meaning, I must Be the One that Cleans Up the Mess on Earth, Bringing Life Back as Myself, as Equal and One, in Each One – so that, in Fact, we are All Equal as Creators, making Sure we DO NOT FORCE each other Into Slavery, as I AM the One that Decides, as You are the One that Decides – and this is the Decision I must Make in Every Breath, as Who I Am: that which is the Change to What is Best for all, or that which is the Chains that Enslaves Myself and Everyone else to this ILL LOSING. Thus, I decide in Every Breath to be the Change that will Breath by Breath Create a Reality Where For Real All will be Equal and All Life will Be supported One and Equal, as I Give to ALL what I would Like to Receive – and thus I will Be the One that Receives, and so We as One, as we Decide and Live the Living Action of the Living Word of the Decision, will bring into Being Life in the Physical, and SO we will Be the One that is God in Every Breath, Creating the Character that Life Must Be to Be What is Best for ALL Life, Always.” ~ excerpt from Creation’s Journey to Life - Day 85: And God Created Slaves