A Psychologist's Journey to Life

Within this blog I am my own DIY Psychologist - my own Psychological Experiment. Walk with me as I take the 'Psycho' out of 'Logical' & show how we are able to Practically & Commonsensically Walk ourselves out of our illusory Mind & into Physical Reality - here I share the Process of taking Self-Responsibility for each Thought/Word/Deed & thus through Self-Directive Writing transform each 'Mental Disorder' into a Living Solution that is Best for All Life.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Day 96: The Uselessness Monster

This character is specifically designed to: in situations/events/opportunities where self stands at the precipice of change, where self stands at that moment of self-expansion, to push self beyond self’s threshold of who self thinks/believes self to be, beyond self’s little room where self is apparently safe and secure – The Uselessness Character then swiftly creeps out of its hidey hole, as the monster that lurks under the bed, and GRABS self, pulling self down into the deep, subterranean pit of self-pity; sabotaging that moment of change, ensuring that self stays limited, fearful, scared into submission, hiding in inadequacy – trapped in self’s little padded room, locked up tight and secure, remaining in the clutches of The Uselessness Monster…..F-O-R-E-V-E-R, muahahahahahahah!

The Uselessness Monster comes especially equipped with an array of tantrums which are activated to varying degrees depending on the context, which will subsequently, effortlessly possess self into fluctuating fits of kicking and screaming, whining and complaining, crying and sniffling, justifying: I CAN’T DO IT! I CAN’T DO ANYTHING! I AM USELESS! ALL IS POINTLESS! I AM A PIECE OF SHIT! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! I DON’T WANNA! I DON’T WANNA! I DON’T WANNA!

The Uselessness Monster is formed and begins to take its gruesome shape in the formative years of childhood with the helping hand of the parents, the Mad Scientists whom, in the laboratory of the household, create their children into little tantrum-demons, and thus then through this: The Uselessness Monster comes aLIvE! And grows up side by side, maturing right along with the child, as the Monster IS the child – the child split in two, separated from self here in this physical reality, divided into a Uselessness Monster, as the resounding voice in their head, bellowing from beneath the bed in the room of the mind where self lies sleeping: YOU USELESS FILTH! YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH! SHUT THE FUCK UP! I WILL NOT BE SILENCED! HEAR ME ROOOOOAAAARRR!

The parent pats the child on the head as an action of suppressed fear: there, there sweetie; honey, calm down now – as the child contorts and flails in absolute possession – all of which encourages The Uselessness Monster to grow, as the Uselessness Monster also resides inside the parent, of course, from the parent’s parent who created their very own demon-child, as well - because they too believed themselves to be useless, and especially useless to quell the fits of demon-fury at their feet – and thus the Uselessness Monster in the entire family is fed fat with energetic reactions of emotions and feelings, morphing into a ghastly abomination with each and every tantrum allowed: internally and externally – yet, on top of it all, the parents do their very best to ensure that this Monster stays hidden behind closed doors, because: what will the neighbors think?! Well, the neighbors are thinking the same thing, as the neighbors are Uselessness Monsters too! What a mess!

So, the monstrosity is kept hidden from outside view, lurking within/throughout all rooms of all households across this wide-stretching planet. Yet…is it really hidden? We can see the monstrosity everywhere, but because we do not want to face the monster within ourselves, because we fear that we are no match for the monster, we are useless to stand up to the monster inside us – we allow the Monster of this world-system, like Godzilla, to ravage this planet in all sorts of atrocious, wicked and dreadful ways. Eating our children alive, stomping out all Life in its path, holding us all captive, as we are scared stiff, captivated by the sheer size of the HORROR, which we uselessly believe we can do NOTHING ABOUT! IT'S SO MUCH BIGGER THAN ME!

We see the monster on the television screens – in movies, cartoons, and shows – we see the monster in comic books and bedtime stories, fairy tales and mythologies. We see the monster as stuffed animals, puppets, toys and on clothing. We see the monster EVERYWHERE…but, wait! Do we dare see the monster inside our very own physical body? AS our very physical body - NO!

The monster has possessed and taken over our very physical flesh. As we are not realizing that we are creating the monster movie, we are scripting the films, we are drawing the cartoons, we are putting on the show, we are writing the comic books, the fairy tales, we are pulling the strings of the puppets, while our very own strings are pulled, as we are all just puppets. WE ARE the LIVING MYTHS! WE ARE the LIVING LIES, characters in an illusion lying to ourselves that we are not monsters when the evidence is in ALL THINGS!

And that…is The Uselessness Monster in a nutshell, or shall I say: nutcase.

Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective/Self-Commitment Statements to follow…