Thus, I commit myself to – when and as this thought as image of me seeing all kinds of blog-posts being shared around on facebook which I haven’t been able to read and enjoy, or furthermore if I am actually in the physical moment of being on facebook and seeing all kinds of blog-posts being shared around and me not having read them yet and thus wanting to react due to this – I immediately stop and breathe – because I have already seen and realized within myself that this is not a cool way to live within and as myself, and is not actually assisting/supporting myself to be/become self-enjoyment as an expression of myself in self-intimacy – so I just stop and really keep things practical according to what I am actually able to do; and if in a given moment, I’m able to read some blogs – cool – and if in a given moment I’m not able to read some blogs – cool – yet, I do however continue to commit myself to rate everyone’s posts each day regardless, as well as commit myself to reading Heaven’s and Creation’s Journey to Life daily – yet, if I see in self-honesty that there is a day here and there that I’m not actually able to, that’s cool, I’ll read as soon as I’m practically able – without judgment, without reaction – but simply as a moment of: I’ve got some time, I’m going to read Heaven’s and/or Creation’s Journey to Life – or – Hey, I’ve got some time, I’m going to read some Destonian’s Journey to Life blogs. And really, since I’ve been walking this schedule now, I haven’t once had a day where I was fretting not being able to read some blogs, and I haven’t once had a day where I wasn’t able to read ANY blogs – yeah, I haven’t been able to read as many as I used to, but that’s fine as I realize that it’s really a simple point of reading what I practically can and continue on with my day.
I commit myself to support myself through the process of writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and practical living here within and as breath – to be/become the living expression of self-enjoyment wherein my expression of enjoyment does not hinge on anything/anyone in my external world/reality; and thus does not hinge on any sort of experience that I try/attempt conjure up within/as myself – but self-enjoyment as an actual moment of being here and content with myself within whatever it is that I’m doing, as a breath by breath movement of me here, comfortable with me here, expressing myself within what I am doing here with satisfaction – and do not accept nor allow myself to hold onto or cling to this enjoyment, as that would imply separation, because real self-enjoyment isn’t something that can be ‘held’ and thus is not some substance that one can ‘cling’ to, but is an expression that I decide to become as the self-directive principle wholly, fully and completely and I become this until I decide to express myself in another manner, which is equally as one expressed without attachment – thus expressed as the living expression of what is best for all Life, because I realize and see clearly that what is best for all Life is that I fully be/become whatever is necessary in each and every moment that will ensure that the accumulation of my actions are always and in all ways equaling that which is best for all Life, because I am IT in every possible way – thus, no room for self-interest, no room for wants/desires, no room for preferences, no room for thoughts/feelings/emotions – as all of this accumulates an equation that equals self-diminishment, self-deception, self-dishonesty and thus massive separation and abuse. I am not willing to add to this unequal equation just so I can experience some fleeting moment of perceived enjoyment, but rather assist/support myself in facing ALL points that subtract from Life and transforming them into adding to Life, as the point of giving – because I realize that I get what I give, and if I give life, I receive Life, because I have made the decision to be equal to Life.
* Image of me looking at the time on my phone with a frown on my face because I see that I don’t have the time to watch an episode of a series
Now this point here is essentially the same point as above in relation to perceiving and creating relationships of enjoyment in separation from myself here, and this post is also aligned with the post I did in relation to fearing that I won’t have time to watch episodes, which I wrote out Day 169: The Psychology of Entertainment – however, I see that it requires specific direction, because it was a specific thought which requires to be ‘released’ through placing the specific wording in self-forgiveness, as this is another layer/dimension of the point:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought as image of me looking at the time on my phone with a frown of my face because I see that I don’t have the time to watch an episode of a series, to exist within and as me – as I now see, realize and understand that I was making watching an episode of a series ‘a special thing that I enjoy to do’ and therefore separating myself from the act of watching an episode of a series as an expression of myself here in self-awareness in relation to the realization that the episode of the series I want/desire to watch is not actually separate from me, but is an equal and one representation as reflection of me and thus is not something that I participate in ‘out there’ but is simply another moment here that I’m able to face myself if I dare myself to be so specific in my application, as I realize that is what is required – watching series is not a ticket to ‘check out’ of facing myself, like punching some time-card and ‘taking a break’ from work – no – it is another equal and one moment of breath that I breathe me here in facing each moment of me here in what is here for me to face, and thus:
I commit myself to when and as I see that I do not actually have the time to watch an episode of a series – I stop, I breathe – and I live the realization that not being able to watch an episode of a series does not mean anything, in fact, besides that I do not have time to watch an episode of a series – because I have already seen clearly that watching an episode of a series is not something special, but really is actually a point of self-responsibility like anything else that I participate in, in ensuring that in each moment, in all that I do, I am HERE – breathing, directing each moment into alignment of that which is best for all Life, and thus if I am watching an episode of a series, I direct myself in self-awareness, attentive to any movement/reaction within and as me as the motion picture moves before me, as me, showing me: ME, and accordingly support myself in investigating and releasing any and all points that come up until I have equalized myself to all that is here in every way.
So here, I delete any and all associations I have made to watching episodes and being able to basically just melt into the experience, which is obviously that real point that I am ‘frowning’ about in the thought as image of me looking at my phone seeing that I don’t have time to watch an episode; the frown is because I want/desire to just ‘let go’ of being responsible and just essentially give up on myself for a little while, letting my life happen to me while this little motion picture on a screen sends me on a mind-adventure of grotesque proportions, refusing to face the fact that while I’m ‘zoning out’ I’m accepting and allowing myself to be influenced in ways beyond my understanding because I am not here to take responsibility for the internal-movements/reactions/thoughts/fantasies/desires/etc that are attached to the motion picture that is before me, which I am downloading through my Quantum Mind at a rapid rate – and I mean, this shit is not to be taken lightly – I see this clearly, and thus I commit myself to enter entertainment as the self-directive principle and utilize entertainment as a source of self-realization and that’s it. I mean, why else would I watch motion pictures? Anything else is just fueling the motion picture within my own mind; is just fueling the vehicle which drives the characters around to their sets so that I am ‘all set’ and no LIFE.
No. I am not interested in that.